20 simple lessons learned in 20 years of marriage

As Leslie and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary I thought I would share with you 20 simple lessons learned in 20 years of marriage.

1. Love your spouse. (Use 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as a guide.)
2. Marriage is different than what I expected.
3. Marriage is better than what I expected.
4. Being a parent can be the hardest job on the planet. (So work together.)
5. Be strong when your partner is weak.
6. Spend time together. 
7. Have a TV show you enjoy and watch together.  (And share the remote.)
8. Encourage each other.
9. Have a regular date night.
10. Embrace your differences.  (Don’t try to change each other.)
11. Use fun nicknames. (i.e. BooBear)
12. Remember you’re on the same team.
13. Be generous. 
14. Figure out what is important and let the little things go.
15. You won’t always win.
16. Sometimes things don’t work out like you planned.
17. Honor and respect each other.
18. Talk it out.
19. Have fun together.
20. Don’t give up.

Be still, and know that I am God!

Be still, and know that I am God!

Psalm 46:10

There are days I long to be close to God and hear His voice and yet it feels like God is both distant and silent.  I know God is always with me.  I know that He is always speaking to those who have ears to hear.  The problem almost always lies with me and my cluttered life.  

Shouldn’t it get easier?  Yet, we learned earlier this year in our study of the Holy Spirit with John Bevere and through the prophetic ministry of Steve Sampson that the longer we walk with God His voice doesn’t grow stronger, rather it grows more faint and we must strive to hear His leading.  How is it possible for me to hear God’s still small voice as such a busy husband, dad, pastor, etc.?

There are many times I wish I wasn't so busy with “life,” that I could just get away from everything and commune with God.  I want to be like the monks of old that left their wordily lives behind to solely commune with God.  What’s interesting is in some of their writings they confess that in leaving everything behind the struggles and temptations of life instead increased and they actually felt even farther away from God.  

Running away is never the answer.  Being still, sensing God’s presence, hearing His voice and following His leading needs to happen in the midst of real life with the kids, homes, jobs, etc.  Be still in the midst of your busy day.  Spend time talking and listening to the God who will never leave you and never forsake you.  As you wait on the Lord, He will be there to give you strength even in the busiest seasons of life. 

Parenting is a challenge.

Parents are the pride of their children.

Proverbs 17:6

Parenting is a challenge.  In fact, parenting is the most difficult job I’ve ever had and since there is no time off and it seems like it will never end, sometimes it feels more like bondage.  But bottom line, it’s the most sacred obligation I’ll ever have and to be honest I love the fact that Leslie and I have been chosen by God to steward the lives of our three boys.  

When our boys were young we were, for the most part, able to provide all they needed.  But as they’ve grown Leslie and I realized they need much more than just their parents input to develop into the men that God has called them to be.  Parents are important, but so are the outside voices speaking into their lives.  I’m grateful for grandparents, uncles and aunts, teachers and coaches, pastors and leaders, as well as a number of trusted family friends that love our boys and help in their training.  

No matter how many great influences we surround our children with it cannot and will not provide all they need.  Combine that with the negative influences in our children’s lives that we can’t control and it sometimes feels like we’re fighting a losing battle.  That’s why the most important thing we can do as parents is connect our children to the only source that can truly provide all they need… Jesus: the way, the truth, and the (abundant) life.

It’s so important as parents to have our children in church, clubs, conferences, camps, etc. to learn about Jesus and connect with God.  That’s why I love the Ascension Convention as we see a multitude of young people gather together to connect with God in a powerful way.  As a pastor I’m honored that God has chosen to use Christian Life to impact thousands of lives over the years.  As a parent, I’m grateful that I can send my boys to a conference that will connect them to God.

Hearing the Voice of God

At Christian Life Church we believe that God still speaks today.  We are honored to have Steve Sampson as our special guest this weekend.  Steve moves in a prophetic gift that is spoken of in the New Testament.  Steve wrote the popular book, You Can Hear the Voice of God.  I hope you pick up a copy today.  Here is an excerpt from the book from the section, The Voice of the Spirit.

Factually speaking, few individual Christians really know and discern the voice of the Holy Spirit.  God is always willing to speak to His people, but His voice is often undiscerned and un recognized, because we fail to understand the way of the Sprit. 

To learn to hear from God is the greatest ability and Christian can possess.  Well-intentioned Christians make “Kingdom” decisions that are derived from man’s perspective and not God’s.  These decisions are frequently made from information and logic and not based on knowledge given by the Holy Spirit to the believer. 

Certainly everyone had seen misuses and abuses by those who claim to have heard God.  But it is normal Christianity to walk in fellowship with God that is intimate enough to enable us to hear from Him on a daily basis.  Jesus didn’t say that His sheep would listen to tapes, read books or memorize Bible verses, although these things are all good.  But He did say, “My sheep hear My Voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” (John 10:27) 

Grandma

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants.

Psalm 116:15

This past Monday my grandma, Ella Meade, went home to heaven. She lived a long, full life for the Lord.  An enormous list of tributes have been rolling in from those she touched along the way.  Here are some words that come to mind when I think about my Grandma Meade.

Love.
I know a common characteristic of grandmas is that they’re loving, but I always felt seen and heard, important and special, and unconditionally loved by my grandma.  That’s a powerful gift every child needs.

Time.  
I never felt rushed around grandma.  She was attentive and caring.  She had time for me in a busy world.   When you went to her house it was never for a quick visit.  We would play, watch TV, eat, maybe even sleep over.  And when our time together would come to an end she would always ask, “When are you coming back?”  I loved my time with Grandma.

Near.
It seems both as a child and as an adult I always lived in close proximity to my grandma.  Whether a block away in the city or a mile and a half in the suburbs I have always lived near my grandma.  There is something special about being close the ones you love.

Legacy. 
Although my grandma never had a large platform of ministry and preferred being behind the scenes she touched countless lives.  People from across the decades are telling me of the powerful impact she had on their lives.  She didn’t need a pulpit to preach to the masses she chose to focus on one person, one task at a time and built a strong legacy that will long outlive her life here on the earth.

Leadership

A common question asked concerning leadership is: Are leaders born or are they developed?  I think the best answer is: Leaders are CALLED.  And I believe God has called each of us to be leaders.  YOU are called by God to be a leader!  

Leadership is a role each of us are to embrace at various moments and places in our lives.  John Maxwell defines leadership simply as INFLUENCE.  God has placed people in our life we are called to influence at work, school, home, etc.  You are called to be a leader to those around you.  Whether it be as simple as speaking truth in a casual conversation with a friend or as complex as helping your child toward adulthood we are all called to lead.

The world often provides polluted examples of leadership but God has given us the ultimate example of leadership in Jesus.  Jesus led (and influenced) by serving others.  Mark 11:45 states, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give His life as a ransom for many.”  Jesus taught you and me in Mark 11:43, “Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant.”

Today, I encourage you to hear God's call and step up into that role of leadership you were appointed to as a spouse, parent, counselor, or friend.  And if you’re worried you can’t handle what God calls you to do just memorize and meditate on 1 Thessalonians 5:24, “God will make this happen, for He who calls you is faithful.”

What is your favorite verse in the Bible?

YouVersion, a popular Bible app, released its summary of its Bible usage data from 2013. With over 120 million installs since 2008 and a billion opens or uses in 2013, YouVersion provides a unique window into how many Christians read the Bible.  What did the data say about what we read in the Bible?

The 5 most popular verses included:

• Philippians 4:13  - “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
• Isaiah 40:31 - “…but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength…”
• Matthew 6:13 - “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil…”
• Joshua 1:9 - “…Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged…”
• Philippians 4:6 - “Do not be anxious about anything…”

The 5 most popular chapters were:

• Romans 8 — Living a spiritual life and hope for eternal life
• Romans 12 — Loving God, the church, and others
• Matthew 5 — The Sermon on the Mount
• 1 John 4 — God is love
• Hebrews 12 — Why God allows hardship and how Christians should respond

What is your favorite verse and chapter in the Bible?


For more information on the data from YouVersion visit http://tobingrant.religionnews.com/2014/01/02/three-things-big-data-tells-us-people-use-bible/

What does God say about you in heaven?

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

Colossians 3:2

On New Year’s Eve I taught about how we, as believers, need to change the way we think.  We asked, “What does God say about you in heaven?  What is our true heavenly identity in Christ?”  I shared a list from Graham Cooke on our standing in Jesus.  As you read this list let it shape your ALL IN thinking in 2014.

• You’re a new creation,
• You’re a people for His possession,
• All grace abounds towards you,
• All sufficiency is in you, through Him,
• You’re anointed,
• You’re the apple of God’s eye,
• You’re being perfected,
• You are the beloved,
• You are blameless,
• You’re blessed,
• You’ve got bold access to the throne of God,
• You can do all things in Christ,
• You’re chosen,
• Christ indwells you with all His fullness,
• You’re free of the curse,
• You’re dead to sin,
• You’re alive in Christ,
• You’re declared Holy,
• You’re free,
• You’re a friend of God,
• You’re fruitful,
• You’re gifted,
• You have the mind of Christ,
• He’s at work in you,
• He is for you, not against you,
• You’re healed,
• You’re hidden in Christ,
• You are His possession,
• You are His workmanship,
• You’re inseparable from the love of God,
• You’re a joint heir with Jesus,
• You’re justified,
• The Kingdom of God is within you,
• You’re lacking in nothing,
• You’re the light of the world,
• You’re made in His image,
• You’re more than a conqueror,
• You’re a new creation,
• You’re of sound mind,
• You are prepared for good works,
• You are protected and purified,
• You are redeemed,
• You’re sanctified,
• You’re saved,
• You’re sealed,
• You’re seated with Him in heavenly places,
• You’re a servant of God,
• You share His authority,
• You are strengthened by Him,
• You are the righteousness of God,
• You’re the temple of the Holy Spirit,
• You are a vessel of glory and honor,
• You walk in newness of life,
• You are a warrior,
• You are witnesses,
• And you are absolutely worthy of the Lord!

What can you do today to experience a move of God?

Here is an excerpt from a recent article I wrote that was published in Solutions Magazine.

What can you do today to experience a move of God? 

Move.  Take action.  It’s easy to get satisfied in life and go numb but it’s time to get hungry.  Turn away from your inaction.  Dive into God’s Word and read, pray, believe, and obey.   Your relationship with God is the most important relationship you will ever have.  It determines the direction and destiny of your life.  God has so much waiting for you when you just take that first step.


Believe big.  Remember you determine the size of God’s miracle power displayed in your life.  Put your hope in God.  He is the God of more than enough that has promised abundant life to all who follow Him.


Expect God to move.  Your expectation moves the hand of God.  God has been calling people to draw near to Him since the beginning of time.  He’s just waiting for you to respond.  When you move toward God you can count on Him showing up in a big way.


Be thankful.  God loves when we thank Him because thanksgiving is a form of worship.  We were created to worship God (Isaiah 43:21) and it’s our calling to be thankful (1 Thessalonians 5:18).  Move toward God with worship and thanksgiving in your heart, there is nothing He desires more.


More than ever we need God’s power at work in our lives, families, churches, and world.  The days we live in demand it.  Don’t settle, sitting back, waiting for God to move.   He’s calling us through His Word to move toward Him and He in turn will move toward us. (James 4:8)


You can read the entire article online at http://mysolutionsmagazine.com/solutions/2013/december/#page/65. 

New Year. New You.

New Year’s is a time for resolutions.  According to Forbes.com only 8% will achieve their New Year’s resolution.  That means 92% of those who make resolutions are doomed to fail.  So, unless your one of the lucky ones blessed with extraordinary discipline why even bother?

God is a God of “fresh starts.”  Each new day with God is a fresh start. (Lamentations 3:22-23)  The New Year carries a tremendous opportunity for a fresh start in each of our lives.  But are we willing to take it when it seems like the percentages are stacked against us?  How can we team up with God and beat the odds as we strive toward the new, fresh, abundant life He promised?

Here are some ideas to help you make a fresh start in the New Year.  

• Think.  Too often we think in worldly terms about our lives.  We need to change our thoughts. (Colossians 3:2)  What does God say about you in heaven?  What is your true heavenly identity in Christ?  We need to see ourselves from God’s perspective. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
• Listen. Be mindful of what you listen to in the New Year.  Our ears need to be tuned to the Holy Spirit rather than our flesh. Tune into God’s Word and the promises for your life.  Let the voice of God empower your life. 
• Obey.  Break out of your old routine.  Stop living on autopilot.  Force yourself to take action on what the Holy Spirit is saying to you.  Don’t just try to clean up the “old person,”  live out the “new” person God created you to be.  Then you’ll be on the road to transformation.
• Be S.M.A.R.T.  When you have done the first three on the list then set your New Year’s goals and remember to be S.M.A.R.T. Make your goals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

I know change is hard, but GO FOR IT!  The New Year is a great time to start.  Even if you start small, just start.  Small habits everyday lead to big changes.  And remember even when the odds are stacked against you, God is on your side. (Jeremiah 32:27)  I’m praying for you this week!

The Lion Chaser’s Manifesto

As we look forward to a brand new year I thought I would repost one of my favorites from the archives.  Here is the Lion Chaser’s Manifesto adapted from Mark Batterson’s In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day.

Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Expand your horizons. Accumulate experiences. Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don’t let what’s wrong with you keep you from worshiping what’s right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze new trails. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don’t try to be who you’re not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Don’t let fear dictate your decisions. Take a flying leap of faith. Chase the lion!

Mark’s newest book, ALL IN, will be the launching pad for a brand new sermon series as we begin 2014.  It’s going to be a great New Year in God as we go ALL IN!

Advent

We have entered the Advent season on the Church calendar.  “Advent” in Latin comes from a word that means “coming.”  We celebrate and prepare our hearts for the coming of our King Jesus.  We remember his coming in the past as a baby in the town of Bethlehem.  We celebrate the present as Jesus comes into our heart.  And we look to the future as He comes as King to establish His new Kingdom.

In the front of church we have an advent wreath with candles.  Each week we light a new candle which symbolizes the expectation of our coming Messiah.  

Week 1 - (Purple Candle) Represents HOPE, signifying the hope that we have in Jesus when we allow Him to lead us out of darkness into light.  

Week 2 - (Purple Candle) Represents PEACE.  Jesus came to bring peace.  From the words of Zecharias in Luke 1:79….”He will guide our feet into the way of Peace”.

Week 3 - (Pink Candle) Represents LOVE.  We are reminded that He is Love and that He loves us with an everlasting love and that we are called by Jesus to love others.

Week 4 - (Purple Candle) Represents JOY.  The angel in Luke 2:10, "...I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.”  As the day of celebration draws close we become excited with anticipation and joy. We are reminded that a life with Him is one full of Joy! 

On Christmas Eve a final white candle is lit.  

This Advent let us all prepare our hearts for the coming of the King.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.  

1 Thessalonians 5:18

God, in His Word, calls and commands us to be thankful!  As we prepare our hearts for Thanksgiving week take a moment to reflect on Psalm 100 and then write a thank you note to God.  I know He’ll love it!

Psalm 100 (The Message) - A Thanksgiving Psalm
On your feet now—applaud God!
Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.
Know this: God is God, and God, God.
He made us; we didn’t make him.
We’re his people, his well-tended sheep.
Enter with the password: “Thank you!”
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.
For God is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.

Lessons I’ve Learned From My Father

“Listen to your father, who gave you life...” Proverbs 23:22a

 
Today at Christian Life we celebrate my dad, Pastor Merrill’s, 80th birthday!  What a milestone!  His is a life worth celebrating.  A life of faith. A life well lived. There is something beautiful about a long life filled with persevering faith.  While the life lessons I’ve learned from my dad are numerous let me share a few of the ones that have impacted me the most.

Live with integrity. 

Be an example. 

Be prepared. 

Work hard.    

Be humble. 

Obey God.

Be generous. 

Pray.

I believe that we reap from the seeds sown from past generations and that not only personally, but as a church, we are reaping the seeds of faith sown by my dad, Pastor Merrill and our founding generation.  Now it’s up to us to fulfill God’s purposes in our generation as we sow the seeds for a future harvest for our children and our children’s children.

You can listen to or watch the full presentation of these thoughts from our celebration weekend at http://christianlifechurch.org/#/watch-now.

No More Fear

The number one way the enemy enters your life is through fear.  It’s important that we confess the Word of God when fear attacks us.  Here’s some scriptures to help you break free from the power of fear.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

God has come to save me.  I will trust in him and not be afraid.  The Lord God is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. Isaiah 12:2

Perfect love expels all fear. 1 John 4:18

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.  I have called you by name; you are mine. Isaiah 43:1

The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? Hebrews 13:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

You shall not fear them, for it is the Lord your God who fights for you. Deuteronomy 3:22

God has come to save me. I will trust in him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. Isaiah 12:2

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

Leaves

But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank, 
with roots that reach deep into the water. 
Such trees are not bothered by the heat 
or worried by long months of drought. 
Their leaves stay green, 
and they never stop producing fruit. 

Jeremiah 17:7, 8

I love fall.  This week I took my day off to drive north to see the changing of the leaves.  This fall the colors were gorgeous.  The yellows, reds, and even the various shades of browns were beautiful.

The Bible is clear that when we put our trust, hope, and confidence in the Lord we are like leaves that will always stay green, producing fruit.  Even in times of heat and drought we can remain strong.  We need to plant the promises of God deep inside of our hearts.  We need to become so convinced of God’s promises that no one can talk us out of it.  

This week meditate on the promises of God for your life.  Begin by believing the promises found in Numbers 6:24-26... God’s blessing, protection, grace, favor, and peace.  When you plant the promises of God in your heart you will reap the abundant life God promises.

Faith

Abram believed (had faith) the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness. 

Genesis 15:6

Without faith it is impossible to please God.

Hebrews 11:6

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!"

Luke 17:5

Can you imagine that first conversation between Abram and Sarai?  “I don’t know, exactly. But I can’t get away from the fact that God has told me we need to go.”

The Bible says, “We walk by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7)  This is obviously easier said than done.  When we look at the circumstances of life we can be easily overcome by what we see in the natural and our faith is zapped.  I believe we need to pray for spiritual sight to see what God sees.  To not live by how we feel, but according to God and His Word.

The bottom line was Abraham just had to believe in God and His promises. Hudson Taylor once said, “We do not need a great faith, but faith in a great God.” Like Abraham and many other champions in the Bible we have to put our faith, whether strong or weak, into our Almighty God.

BREAK OUT

If you know me and have been around Christian Life you know that I’m a fan of Joel Osteen and Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas.  We’ve known of Lakewood back when his father, John Osteen, was pastor and ever since the transition to Joel as pastor years ago I have prayed for Joel and watched God exponentially expand his ministry.  Each weekend tens of thousands pack out the Lakewood campus and tens of millions tune in to their weekly TV broadcast.  

While the numbers who attend are quite different (to say the least), Christian Life and Lakewood are very similar in many ways.  Our histories are alike, our services follow the same flow of ministry, and we share the same core convictions and beliefs including the power and Baptism of the Holy Spirit.  

Through his preaching and writing Joel is committed to casting a wide net to see many come to know the love and life transforming power of Christ.  This week Joel releases his latest book, BREAK OUT: 5 Keys To Go Beyond Your Barriers And Live An Extraordinary Life. I’ve had a chance to review the book packed with illustrations and Bible stories designed to take you to the next level in God.  This five part book include sections entitled:

• Believe Bigger
• Consider God, Not Circumstances
• Pray God-Sized Prayers
• Keep the Right Perspective
• Don't Settle for Good Enough 

We want to do something we’ve never done before.  We are going to give away a free copy of BREAK OUT to every family who visits our church for the first time.  And if you invite and bring someone to church, we’ll give you a copy too.  We were able to secure copies of Joel’s new book at a very low cost so we want to sow a copy to anyone who comes to check out what God is doing at Christian Life Church.  So, PRAY that many will come and be blessed.  INVITE someone to church.  And BRING someone next weekend to hear about the Good News that we have in Christ!

Integrity

But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says.

James 1:22

Our team has returned from Russia after a week of ministering with Mission Possible (MP.org).  The trip was packed with powerful ministry on the streets, in the shelter homes, and in the churches.  Countless lives were impacted, including our own.

My relationship with Missions Possible began in the early 1990’s when I was asked to write some curriculum for the International Education Fellowship.  This is MP’s school to educate pastors for planting churches after communism crumbled in the former Soviet Union.  Since then tens of thousands of leaders have gone through the IEF courses and thousands of churches have been birthed.

Beyond working with pastors and churches, Mission Possible has reached out the “least of these”.  MP and its teams are working tirelessly to help children and families lost in crisis and poverty. You can see the impact Mission Possible is making by visiting www.MP.org.

For a number of years I have served on the board of Mission Possible.  I have heard the stories, know just about everything bring done through the various ministries, and have even acted as a spokesperson in various media outlets.  I knew and spoke a lot about the organization.  But after this trip, I have experienced first hand the ministry taking place.  The whole ministry seems bigger, better, stronger. Now its real to me. Its not just something I’ve heard about, its something I’ve seen and experienced.  

What are you doing to experience God?  You may know a lot about Him.  You may even talk about Him with others.  But what are you experiencing first hand that makes God seem bigger, better, stronger in your life?  Step out in faith.  Take a risk.  Get involved.  Make it real this week!

Top 5 Reasons NOT to Tithe

Top 5 Reasons NOT to Tithe

• You think tithing is a lottery - meaning you're expecting a 1000 fold     increase in 30 days or less.
• You expect God to honor you with a BMW because of it.
• You think you might not get into heaven if you don't.
• You do it grudgingly.
• You don't believe God will do what He promised regarding it.

“As base a thing as money often is, yet it can be transmuted into everlasting treasure. It can be converted into food for the hungry and clothing for the poor. It can keep a missionary actively winning lost men to the light of the gospel and thus transmute itself into heavenly values. Any temporal possession can be turned into everlasting wealth. Whatever is given to Christ is immediately touched with immortality.”

A.W. Tozer